How blessed am I to be able to celebrate Mother's Day tomorrow with my amazing little 4 year old miracle?
There was a time when Mother's Days were very painful for me. Almost beyond painful. All the cards, flowers, TV ads, reminding me of what we wanted so badly, but couldn't have. There were the roses passed out at church, to all the "real" mothers. Although I knew in my heart that I was mommy to four little angels, I had no proof to hold in my arms. No one could see the grief I held instead, down deep, the longing to have a baby of our own to hold and love and "mother". Man, those were dark years.
I will never, EVER take being a mother for granted.
Now? Now I get to wake up tomorrow morning and thank God for blessing us with the most precious little boy. I think about those 5 years of trying and grieving loss after loss. And then I think about Charlie and honestly all I can think is how lucky we are. One look at his quirky little smile, and I can't remember the hurt anymore.
Charlie is so awesome. I'm a little biased. But really folks, he's cool beans!
Charlie is a little boy who, when I told him I was sleepy this afternoon, says to me, "It's okay mommy. You can go lay down and take a nap and I'll just watch a video. No matter." And, I did. Lay down. I didn't sleep though, I just listened to him watching Dora for half an hour. Answering all the questions, singing along, and talking back in his precious little 4 year old voice.
A little boy who noticed I was juggling 4 of his sippy cups in my arms to bring in from the car today, and says, "Wait, mom, stop. Give me two of those. I can help ya out."
A little boy who won 40 tickets at Chuck E. Cheese today, and picked out two 20-point prizes for two of his cousins - and nothing for himself.
A little boy who also decided he needed to wear his rhino costume to Chuck E. Cheese today - so he can scare the mouse, rather than the mouse scaring him. Didn't work, but it was a good plan, Charlie. ;)
A little boy who didn't want to play the water balloon game at his cousin's birthday party today. But when he saw that "his Ellie" didn't have a partner, he ran over to her and grabbed her hand and played anyways.
And this is all just today.
How blessed am I? Beyond blessed.