It was last night.
It was 4:30 AM.
And I got the "Triple P Package".
We start off with a little Puke, just a little, we like to ease in. Just a tad on your shoulder. Then, a little down the front of your shirt - like a peaceful waterfall. Wipe it around, to rub it in a little. Don't bother changing the shirt, there will be more.
Then we move on to the second P. Poop. Yes, lots of that! As you are changing the diaper, this Poop gets kicked around, spread around, smeared around. Oops, a little on your pants? Well, that's part of the fun! Take a fresh wipe, smear it around, rub it in, and move on!
Diaper off? Okay, time to move on to the the third P. Yep, you guessed it! Pee! Wee!!! Let's just spray that Pee everywhere! All over mommy, all over the bed, the sheets, the comforter, the pillow, even down to the floor! This 3rd P is like a cleansing rinse from the first 2 P's. A warm shower, if you will.
After the refreshing Pee shower, we mustn't forget one final coating of Puke - kind of like a moisturizing lotion. A soothing end to your evening of relaxation. Just let it wash over you and sink down into your pores.
Ahhhhhhh. Your skin will never be the same. And the scent? Oh, heavenly.
It is amazing! I highly recommend it. If you'd like to join me - you are more than welcome. In fact, this spa is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for your convenience!
The best part, though? The very best part? The "for real" best part?
Is the reward at the end:
Makes it all worth it.