Apple Crisp, Pumpkins, and Soccer = FALL!

Charlie, Shawn and YaYa preparing apples fresh from our little orchard to make apple crisp and apple sauce.
(Yes, that is a real, sharp knife Charlie's using. Trust me, he is one of the very few four year olds I would feel okay handing a knife to.)

Finished product: the BEST apple crisp ever made.

Massive Zucchini harvest!

This pic doesn't even do them justice, these guys were HUGE!

Charlie was beyond excited about this delivery! He and Shawn got online and ordered some goodies with Charlie's "spend" money.

Charlie talked non-stop about this box for days, until it finally arrived! :)

Loralye got in on the action, too.
She LOVED the little "surprise" cans - you know, the kind where you take the lid off and something "springs" out at you? Well, these ones were of the very small, super cheap plastic variety, with some sort of weird pumpkin headed figurine that jumps out when you open it and in the process the pumpkin head just falls completely off and goes flying across the room - which, for Loralye, was the most entertaining part. These things are so cheap that the lids are nearly impossible to open and I broke 2 nails in the process of keeping this little gal entertained! But come on, look at that little face, how could you deny it?

Who woulda thought cheap crap from China could produce this much happiness?!?!?!

Charlie and I got home from soccer practice that night to find this: My mom and crazy aunts and uncle, wearing some of the new animal masks that came. Charlie thought that was the coolest thing ever! (Well, after the initial "freak-out" moment before he realized there wasn't really a pig, raccoon, panda & lion in his house!)

Heading for the pumpkin patch with Charlie's school.

Charlie reminding me that he's ALMOST FIVE!

Okay so the sun was pretty bright. Didn't get a whole lot of shots where Charlie wasn't squinting like this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

"Found a good one, mom!"

Ready for the tractor ride, Charlie was pleased, as you can see.

See the little girl on the end, on the right side? With the glasses and the striped shirt and jeans and cute yellow boots?
That's "Josephine", and Charlie has informed me that she is his girlfriend.

There's a couple things that are funny about this:
1. I'm pretty sure Charlie has NO idea what "girlfriend" even means. I think he just means that she's a girl, and his friend.
2. As we were driving home from the pumpkin patch, Charlie says, "Josephine was wearing a pretty dress today, mom." I said, "Oh, is she pretty." He says, "Sometimes."
Okay. First I tried to argue about this "sometimes" things. I ended up just informing him that this might be something he should keep to himself for now. (I can just picture him telling her she's "pretty...sometimes.")
3. Well, then we get home, and look at the pictures, and she's not even wearing a dress! You can plainly see: she's got JEANS on, right?
Sigh. Charlie's clearly got some room to grow in the romance department. But I suppose that's okay, seeing as he is only 4. ;)

Soccer season is almost over already.
Here's a couple great shots of Blake:

Charlie hanging with his team, looking for mom and dad in the crowd, as usual. :)

Just a cute shot of my favorite little baker, making me a pancake:

And last but not least, getting a birthday surprise in the mail today from Aunt Phyllis:

A Choice

We can't seem to get pregnant.

I know Charlie is a miracle. You may not know the whole story or how big of a miracle he actually is, but let me just tell you right now that he is a miracle. The more I read about pregnancy and "infertility" (I hate that word), the more I realize that EVERY SINGLE BABY who makes it to term and is born is a complete miracle.

It took us 4 very long years to get Charlie. Years of waiting, loss, waiting, loss, waiting, loss, waiting...and then loss again. Why, oh why did I think that this time would be different? Why did I think that somehow we had paid our dues with him and this time we'd get pregnant "on the first try"? I feel like I can't do all of this pain and disappointment again. Do we just give up? But what would we miss if we did? Is there a sweet little soul just waiting for the perfect timing to come into our lives and if we stop trying, he or she will never be?

So, here's that choice. I could choose to let myself live in that place of disappointment, pain and bitterness that visits me, oh, about once a month...

Or? I could realize how amazingly lucky we are to have a child of our own - and a totally perfect one at that. I had the incredible privilege of carrying a baby inside of me for 9 precious months. How I loved being pregnant with Charlie! A lot of women who long for pregnancy never even get to experience it one time, not once. I can only imagine how painful that must be. I know, because I was "almost" there by the time Charlie finally came into our lives.

The truth is, I AM lucky. Because no matter what happens from here, whether we are able to have 2 more babies, 1 more, or none at all, we have this adorably sweet, perfect-for-us, almost-five-year-old Charles Michael Fletcher.

Who showers me with affection, hugs, kisses, and tells me every day, "Mom, I love you more than anything in the whole wrild (world)."

Whose art projects are right now scattered across our kitchen table.

Who wakes up every single morning giggling outloud and running into our bedroom to snuggle with me.

Who would rather spend his soccer games searching for his parents in the crowd and waving then actually "kicking the ball" or "paying attention to the game". He's just happy to find the people who love him more than anything in the "wrild" and give them a wave.

If Charlie is "all" we ever get, he's more than enough. He leaves no room for disappointment.

So. Darn. Cute.

I've been going through some old pictures and videos and found this little treasure again. Just makes me smile. What a precious toddler Charlie was. I can't believe he is almost 5!